compassion

the last few years i have joined in
choosing a 'word' for the year.

at the beginning of this year
i chose the word
compassion.

my mother in law was in a rest home
battling alzheimers
and my husband and i were visiting
every day and making sure her needs were met
and that she was happy.

it was time consuming and stressful.
my husband was sad,
as he watched the daily decline of his mom
as was the rest of the family.

there were days when i wanted to scream
because, i felt the burden and stress of it all.
my husband was buried in the stress and worry
and it took a toll on us as a couple as well.
(not my proudest of moments)  :(

and then one day, as i sat thinking of what word
i would pick for this year, a small voice whispered
compassion.

to have compassion on my mom in law
who was sick and couldn't help it.
it wasn't her fault she was so needy-
then there was compassion for my husband
and his siblings, because they were losing
someone they loved dearly, and it was so very sad.

as i grasped onto the word compassion,
i felt my heart swell into something new.
something had broke free.
i was able to let go
and compassion grew in it's place.

i wanted to go visit mom, and love on her
as much as i could,
because i knew without a doubt
that our days with her were numbered.

she passed away only two short months
after i had chosen the word, compassion
and i have absolutely no regrets.
i was there til the very end with her.
my heart was full of compassion
and love for this lady
who had been such an amazing woman
in her prime!
she not only raised 5 boys but, adopted
two girls...and worked her fingers to the bone
on their dairy farm and in her amazing garden!

this woman deserved admiration and praise
and i was so thankful to have her in my life.

i am also thankful that compassion
won in the end
that i was able to give her
the love and the respect
that she so dearly deserved!!

compassion.

we all need it in our lives.
we all should give it as well
as get it.

a lesson i learned

am so glad i did.

happy new year

just a simple wish.
that you would have a wonderful and blessed new year.
that 2015 would be good to you.

my word of the year: compassion.

with the family moving my mom in law
into a rest home---
my word was easy this year: compassion.

to show more compassion and love.

my mom in law doesn't recognize me a lot of the time
but, she knows i love her.
i tell her every time we visit.

she might not remember who i am
but, she knows she is loved.

i want to show more compassion
to her and to her sons/daughters
who are going through this scary and sad time.

just loving on her
so she knows she is cared about.
spending time with her.
cherishing sweet moments
with her.

that is what my goal is for this year.

compassion.
shining my light.
loving others.
smiling.

there is hope & a future. -jer. 29:11


peace and blessing to you and yours
this 2015.

childhood memories & roots

I belong to a private group on Facebook called:
Christian Women Write.
The last writing prompt: A childhood memory.
I am sharing my memory here as well.



A childhood memory---


I moved every single year of my life until the ripe old age of 11! (and then again, when I was 14) I have lived in Wyoming, Alaska, California and all over Washington State. One school year, we moved from Wyoming to a small town in Washington State and I began school, we moved half way through the school year, up to Anchorage and then moved back again, to another small town in Washington!

You see, my Dad was from the Midwest and my Mom from the big town of San Francisco. My parents met when my Uncle brought my Dad home while they were on leave from the Navy. When my Dad got out of the Navy he swept Mom off her feet and moved her to his hometown in Wyoming. Yes, he moved a big city girl to Wyoming; a one street town, full of cowboys!
Now my Mom, much to her credit did very well in the cowboy town. She considered herself a tomboy of sorts and so she adapted quite well. My brothers and I were all born in this little town in Wyoming. We all lived there until one day, our parents got an itch; they were both very alike, they both loved to travel.
My Dad's job was one that he traveled to and from job-sites and would be gone for weeks on end, leaving Mom home with the three of us. So, they decided Mom and us kids would just follow Dad to his different job-sites and when the job was finished we moved to the next! All was fine in my little world. until I began school.
Life as the 'new girl' wasn't all that fun, in fact it was horrifying! Each Summer we would pack up and leave and that Fall, I would begin a new school and attempt to fit in.
By the fourth grade, the 'always the new girl' status began to take it's toll on me. I was sick a lot of my fourth grade year and missed a lot of school. I would worry about the bus, worry about being late, worry the my homework wasn't right, worry that people didn't like me, worry, worry and worry to the point of making myself literally sick to my stomach. I would arrive at school and wind up in the nurses office more times than not. By, the time fourth grade was over we were packing our bags and moving again! This time, we would be moving to another small town, in Washington State.
My parents both decided that it was time I went to the Doctor, the doctor told us that what I was suffering from, was not anything physical, I had what he referred to as 'anxiety'. Well, of course I did, I lived with the fear of acceptance! By the time I was in fourth and fifth grades, the 'cliques' had started to form, and I was continually the 'new girl' and struggled and struggled to fit in and find my way! I remember thinking to myself, "why even try to make new friends? we will just move again, anyway!" I began, a wonderful coping technique that I continue to use today, I wrote! I journaled, and began my love of poetry. I coped. I made it.
So, this is where I found myself years later as a Mom to not one but,THREE daughters. My one solid Mom lesson, that I passed on to them? Always, always reach out to the new kid! Go sit by them in the lunchroom, ask them to play at recess or ask them to be your partner on a project. Please don't ever let the new kid feel unwanted. Reach out. Show compassion.

I think that having to move so much as a younger child taught me compassion. Compassion for the new kid at school, the co-worker, the new member at church, the new family member the new neighbor.
I learned to always reach out and not let others feel alone. It also, made me really put down roots; I have now lived in the same house for 34 years, with no plans to move yet! :)