Thursday, August 2, 2012

real or not real?


when i wake
in the morning
i remember-

i feel like
it could be a dream?

i am reminded
of the book
hunger games,
where the character
peeta asks
katniss,
real or not real?
because, it does not
seem possible
yet
that he is gone.

 i do not 
see or hear
him running 
around the house,
or playing on 
the farm

i think of him
when
i see our tractors-

his
'mighty machine' 
parked in the backyard
right
where he left it.
his barn boots waiting 
to be slipped on,
so he can follow
gramps around 
the farm-

his laughter & giggles 
remain
still thick
& heavy
 in the air-

his cousin asks:
"where did jack go?"

it seems 
so quiet,
ever so quiet.

i know
i should embrace this
quietness,
which i fully
intend to do-

it is the 
healthy thing
to do,
it is
right thing
to do-

i also know that
i am
not the only granny 
in the world
to live far away from her
grandkid!

yes, this i know!! 

i also know
that the reason
 he is gone, 
is for the 
greater good,
that lives will
be changed!

that our God is using
this family
for his purpose.
&
that God will
be glorified
in it all-

but
for right now,
it is too 
raw, fresh, new
and i ask myself:

real or not real?








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4 comments:

Shawn said...

Oh sweet friend, this brought tears to my eyes.
Yes, it's real but God has a plan for this wonderful family and they had to follow his call.

Mama D’s Dozen said...

Thinking of you this week as you get used to your "new normal".

:) :) :)

Thoughts for the day said...

Our grand babies are our 'joy' our children are our 'love'...I know your heart is heavy and hurting. Hang in there.

Janice's footsteps said...

Got you in my prayers for sure, with technology you have a better chance to stay in touch so that is something to ease your loneliness for them and the memories you have set in stone can never be erased from his or yours hearts. Take Care :]