happiness & joy

i have been thinking a lot lately
about attitude

in how we see life.

i have been intentionally or
maybe unintentionally called
a 'pollyanna'.
(happy or maybe i am oblivious?)

it really doesn't offend me at all.
in fact, if i have a choice
of having others think of me
as being a pessimist or an optimist

i of course choose optimist!

it is not as though i do not know
what hardships are;

i have known loss. death of my dad at a young age.
sadness. sorrow. pain. worry. insecurity. feeling alone.
i have suffered anxiety & sickness.
sickness of my closest & dearest loved ones

i have heard the words:
you have cancer. twice in my life.
i have lost all my hair on my whole body.
have had two mastectomies
& been very sick while going through chemotherapy.

i have experienced anxiety attacks from the surgery
& all the chemo.

so when i say that i
choose joy.

i mean just that!

i embrace joy.

i choose to be happy
to look at the good.
i truly believe that there has to be
something good in it all.

i do realize that there are
people who are sick and are clinically depressed
and i am not belittling this at all!
i know it is real.

what i am saying is this:
in MY life what works for ME;
is when i choose to look UP
and see the good!

to surround myself in
the beauty & wonder of life.
to take time to look for the
loveliness in even the smallest things.

to sit and be still.

to be comforted by my faith
be reassured that i am loved beyond measure.
and allow love and wonder to envelop me.

happiness & joy.

i choose it.

when others hint to me
that i am not being 'real'
and that i don't understand what they are going through
that i am only looking at the good and that life isn't always
the happiest place on earth for everyone...
to this i say:

no matter how ugly it looks
i believe that
there is hope in this day!

i choose to look at the good!

to find the joy and to
claim the hope!

i want to wallow in happiness!

when i was diagnosed with cancer
i was scared out of my mind!
there was a huge pit in my stomach
full of fear and sadness.

i had three daughters ages 15, 13 and 8.
i chose life.

i chose to get out of bed and fight cancer,
& not to let cancer win.
but, to kick it to the curb!

i refused to curl up in a ball and cry
and say, "i have cancer and might die"
i got up and put a smile on my face
and fought like a mother who wanted
to see her daughters grow into women!

i chose happiness.

it might not be what works for you.

but, do not ever say i do not know what
it feels like to be unhappy, scared or sad.

i do.

i just choose joy.

i see beauty!

all word photos today 

were found on pintrest

by the way,
this past sunday i walked
the 5k with my oldest daughter
in seattle as a two time survivor of breast cancer!

the sun was shining it was a beautiful day.

there was a sea of pink t-shirt wearing survivors

as we walked along the way,
i chose to look up!
to see the beauty in the blue sky. the space needle. the sunshine.
& the smiling faces of fellow survivors and the people
who love them.

life is lovely and i am thankful
for each and every day!