never

challenge letter- n

this spring started with me going

to the oncologist for a six month check-up.

it also marked a mile-stone of sorts

for me;

fifteen years ago,  i was diagnosed 

with breast cancer and then again

seven years later diagnosed with 

it again...

the first time my husband and i

had three small girls and i knew

with all my being i would fight-

I would take whatever drugs,

and have whatever

surgery...
i would fight

to be here for our girls.

the thought never even crossed my mind

to give up!

i remember being at a pizza parlor picking

up take out, i was wearing my ever present

baseball cap because the chemo had robbed me

of my hair-

i ran into an acquaintance of mine...

she asked me how i was doing/feeling and i said,

"i am doing great" and she said, "you have such a 

positive attitude!" my thought at the time?

what choice do i have? i mean, sure

i could curl up in a ball and whine about

the fact that i had cancer, that the chemo made

me so sick, i wouldn't be able to keep anything down

for days at a time and had lost all the hair on my body...

OR i could say, sure i have cancer but, i plan to

fight this stupid disease! i would never give up!

now, some might say that i stayed positive 

but, to me it didn't even cross my mind.
never. not once.
to give up.

it is not in my nature...
i am a fighter. 

never give up

never lose hope

never forget

i choose to see the good.

to be thankful.

my husband and i had been married

for seventeen years,

and after that amount of time

we just took each other for granted...
you know,

that we would always be around-

talk about a wake up call!

we started taking more time for each other

going on coffee dates, spending more time together,

and really investing again in our marriage. 

i also, started to relax more with the girls,

not worrying so much about the mess they made

or if the house was clean...

i invested and spent time enjoying just being with them!

making memories and taking joy

in each and every day!

i am grateful

i am thankful

life is good

yesterday after church,

we had the family here at the house.

the three girls, son in laws and 

those two sweet grandsons...

in the back of my mind 

is the thought, always the thought

when i look at my family-

how wonderful life is

and how thankful i am

i want to never forget

how wonderful it ALL is!

the cousins love to play on the farm

my loves. my joy. these two little boys.

my husband puts on a treasure hunt every year

the kids have to gather clues from all over the farm

and in the end they get a treasure.

this year it was candy and a red robin gift card for each couple. :)

may i never take this family,

our love,

 or this life

 for granted.