Saturday, June 17, 2017

the hawk


this post has been on my mind
for so long.
I run it over and over in my mind
but, never put it down in writing.

with Father's Day 
being this weekend;
today seemed the day
to put it in words.

I have shared the story
with a few close friends
but, I never want to forget
so I am putting it here.

My dad was an outdoorsman,
a hunter and hound-man.
He grew up in Wyoming
and was a legit cowboy.

We moved around a lot.
Dad, Mom, and us kids.
and we did a lot together, 
as a family.
Growing up
I never really understood.
Never realized, 
he wasn't like a lot of, other dads.
or those other families didn't 
move around like we did.

He would take us kids and mom
hiking, camping, and hunting.
we traipsed through swamps
with dad's hounds.
we hiked up mountains
just to go hunting.
when we camped,
we usually had to hike to it
& if someone was camping nearby
well, we found a different area!

He was always asking us
if we knew the name of 
a bird or
he would ask,
"see that eagle?"
"see that hawk?"
He knew every single
name, of them all...
and would often ask us
if we knew the name of a
particular bird or an animal.

as a pre-teen and teen
I wasn't very impressed.
I am sorry, I wasn't.
I am sorry it took so long
for me to notice.
to appreciate.

My dad died of cancer 
in the Fall of 1989
and a little while later...
I noticed my first hawk.
it was sitting on a pole along the side road
and I could hear dad say,
"see that hawk?"
I drove right on past it
but, I took note.
I remembered.
I could hear his voice, clearly
asking if I noticed it.

that is how it started.
that one day
a year or so after dad had died.

Now, I notice---
 an owl sitting on a fence
an eagle soaring 
a hawk sitting on a telephone pole
and
I think of dad.

I've begun saying 
to my husband as we are driving,

"see that hawk?" 
"Oh, look at the eagle!"
"turn around, I just saw an owl on a pole!"

I notice.


Last November
my husband and I flew to our 
daughter and son in laws home
in CA.
We were in a car driving to spend 
Thanksgiving with his family.
I was in the backseat
and I kept seeing hawks.
I mean, I stopped counting 
when I had seen at least
 6 of them!!

I reached down 
picked up my phone to text my Mom
to wish her a
 Happy Thanksgiving...
when I noticed the date on my phone!

the date was November 24, 2016
My dad passed away on November 24, 1989
I started to choke up
as I told my daughter
who was in the backseat with me,
how I had noticed
 so many hawks in such a short time,
and how I believed 
that my dad, her grandpa
was sending them
to say,
"I love you."
"I am thinking of you"


I still get a bit emotional 
when I think of that day.
It took over 6 hawks for me
to realize the significance
of that day.
but, I noticed!


I still see hawks and eagles.
I still remember.

I will keep
noticing those eagles.

I will keep noticing those hawks.

one day soon,
a hawk or eagle feather 
will be incorporated into a tattoo.


I will always remember
you, dad.

Happy Father's Day!














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