Saturday, March 19, 2016

putting one foot in front of the other

i've often been asked
how i kept so upbeat and positive
while going through a cancer diagnosis
 while losing both of my breasts
and all of my hair
and just plain
being sick.

i have thought about this myself

i guess we never really know
how tough we are
until we NEED to know
how tough we are! 

my dad passed away
when i was 30 years old
from cancer...

a mere eight years later
i received my first diagnosis:
"you have breast cancer"

my girls we are still so young
it was hard for me to even fathom
not being here for them

i kept waking up
and putting one foot in front of the other
trying to keep life
as normal as i possibly could

for my girls
for me
for my family

sure, my girls saw mom
getting sick-
after each chemo treatment

sure, they saw mom
lose all of her hair...

they were not immune 
to it...
no they were right in the 
middle of it all.
on the journey 
right along side 
my husband and i.

tried to keep up
daily living
and traditions...
i went to their ball games
volunteered in their classrooms
sang on the worship team
at church...

life just went on.

i woke up
and put one foot in front of the other
and kept smiling---
even when 
sometimes, that smile
didn't reach my 'eyes'
i kept smiling!

it wasn't in me
to quit.
to give up.

i always had hope & faith.

years later
after i had been clean and clear
for a very long time
almost getting complacent about it all;
my husband was diagnosed with 
cancer! *
are you kidding me?

now, you know...
some people
could say,
"that poor family, haven't they had enough cancer?"

but, you see
never once did
i think 
after losing my dad, or me having cancer twice
 or my husband too...

not once, did i ever even entertain the thought---
"why me?"
it would've been easy
to feel sorry for myself
but, truly what good does that do?

no, i wouldn't give up

i just keep putting one foot in front of the other
i kept looking UP!

it seems like every day
i hear of someone i know
or someone who knows someone
who has just been given a 
cancer diagnosis.
i do not think
anyone can say,
that they do not know of someone
who has not been touched 
by a cancer diagnosis!

cancer is ugly.
just plain U.G.L.Y.

it doesn't care
if you are rich, poor,
old, young.
pretty or not so pretty
popular or not so popular...
if you are married or single,
have kids or have never had kids...
if you are

black or white...
republican or democrat ;)

cancer just doesn't care.
it is UGLY!

i do not know why
cancer seems so prevalent---

is it in our water, food the air we breathe?

why can we not find a cure?

i do not know.

i do know this:

 that someone
out there
maybe, right NOW---
is hearing those 
ugly, ugly words...
"you have cancer."

i wish i could
wrap them tight in my arms.
pray with them,
just love on them...
sit with them
hold their hand
smile at them

and really just let them know,
they are not alone.
that someone cares.
they are loved!
no matter what
they are LOVED!

there is always 
that no matter what 

shines through!

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 & 13
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails....

13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.


* my husband and i are both healthy and cancer free!
thank you, Jesus!

**bold italic in scripture was done by me.


Nonnie said...

I too have been touched deeply by cancer in my family and myself. You are right. It's all about taking that next step. God bless.

Linda said...

There are so many in my life right now suffering from cancer. I am a cancer survivor myself. It is hard to watch the sufferings of others. Prayer. It tales much prayer.